Friday, May 26, 2017

Own it


Nobody’s perfect. 

I may not be the most beautiful, 

the sexiest, or the girl with the perfect body 

but I don’t pretend 

to be someone I’m not. 

I’m good at being me. 

I might not be proud of the things 

I’ve done in the past, 

but I’m proud of who I am today and of what I could become tomorrow.

Saturday, March 04, 2017

Three

I had this on my drafts for a long time now, 10 years to be exact. I'm not sure why I haven't posted this before, but maybe because it's unfinished. I'm gonna post this now then I'm gonna do a new version of it with my present answers.

Seeing it now, it's so weird that some of the answers I can't recall the reasons why I've put it there. Here you go:

THREE NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU:
1. Yvette
2. Marj
3. Yvetski

THREE MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE:
1. August 31
2. December 7
3.

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
1. Browsing the net
2. reading a text message
3. walking through my parents room

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
1. being silly with my family
2. taking photos
3. traveling

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Chocolates
2. strawberry sundae
3. spaghetti

THREE PERSONS YOU MISS THE MOST:
1. family
2. friends
3. cousin

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
1. a Mac book
2. a state-of-the-art camera
3. all-expensed pay trip around the world

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. taking pictures
2. eating chocolates
3. watching DVDs

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
1. Australia
2. Europe
3. Korea

THREE MALLS YOU USUALLY GO TO:
1. SM Manila/Dasmarinas
2. Robinson's Place Ermita
3. Glorietta

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE FASTFOOD RESTAURANT:
1. KFC
2. Mcdo
3. Jollibee

THREE fave sports:
1. Volleyball
2. Badminton
3.

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS:
1. Water
2. Mango Juice
3. Carribean Smoothie

THREE PERFUMES/COLOGNES:
1. Petit Monde's Love
2. Cool Water
3. CK Summer (Limited Edition)

THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
1. Red
2. Pink
3. Green

THREE EVENTS YOU'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO:
1.
2.
3.

LAST THREE PEOPLE IN YOUR INBOX
1.
2.
3.

THREE THINGS YOU'LL BE DOING AFTER THIS SURVEY
1. go back to bed
2. take a shower
3. hav

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Introvert.

I'm an introvert. Hindi lang halata.

I just conceal it by being with a lot of people.

...and I just wanna share this post of Jinri Park after she was evicted from the PBB House. Sometimes I feel like her in some ways and I love how she embraced her being an introvert in a house full of extroverts.


It's been a rollercoaster ride. Many ups and downs, realizations and learnings. Honestly it was hard I won't lie. Coming from a different culture and being an extreme introvert, I represented the minority of the minority group of people. Pbb house is exactly like real life, where you Co-exist with different people from different background, culture and personality. I represented the minority in a group full or extroverts and people who came from a Filipino cultural background. I'm proud to represent the minority. I'm a Korean-Cebuana who enjoys time alone. I have found great satisfaction through viewers who tell me that they can relate to me and say they know how I feel in a world full of people who are outgoing. I'd like to thank Kuya for making me realize the important things in life, that I can be different and still go through all the challenges and come out successful. That I don't have to be like everyone else and still come out strong. To love myself for who I really am and accept the things I can't change. To always remember to think about others before yourself. Winning is not important, it's how you make out of the experience that is. To show courage when you feel like you can't go any further. To face your deepest fears and come out victorious. That everything is possible if you give your heart to it. Friendship is more valuable than any task. I hope the viewers realized this as I did. I may not have been the most popular housemate nor part of a love team but I know I did my part to show the viewers that you can coexist in a world full of people who don't understand you and maybe even get to love you for your differences. Again thank you KUYA. I love you. Thank you PBB. Thank you to all the people who voted for me, my Jinjas @jinjas_ , my housemates whom I got to love as my family, and mostly, thank you God. Off to face the real world now❤With love from Your first lucky star ⭐️🌟
A post shared by Jinri Park (@jinri_88) on

And this is my favorite part of her post:
…that I can be different and still go through all the challenges and come out successful. That I don't have to be like everyone else and still come out strong. To love myself for who I really am and accept the things I can't change. To always remember to think about others before yourself. 

Monday, February 20, 2017

Palpitation

Oh gosh. I felt like I've aged 10 years in the last hour. It’s something work related and it stressed me the f*ck out. I mean who wouldn’t if you happen to discard something that wasn’t supposed to be discarded. Something that you cannot get anywhere no matter what you do. I can’t even sell my own soul for this.

 I’m freaking out the moment I got that message, looking for that something. My hands and feet got cold and clammy. Rapid heartbeat. My hands are trembling, I can barely hold my phone. I keep thinking how can I fix the problem. There’s no way I can get it back. Well, of course, I told the truth that I’ve discarded the “thing” and I’m very sorry about that. I’ve waited a few minutes to see if he’ll respond but to no avail. I resent the message and added some more remorseful message, but still no response. I’m freaking the f*ck out and I lost interest on what I am previously doing (just watching some Youtube videos.) I keep waiting for the answer to my text and yet none arrived. I decided to go home ‘cause I can’t concentrate anymore. (I’m at a coffee shop, by the way.)

I also texted one of my co-workers about the situation, and no reply too. Damn, I feel like dying. I vent out on my twitter. Damn it! I was really losing my mind.

Once I got back home, my co-worker replied but it still didn’t appease my trembling heart. Shet. I’m losing my mind at that moment. But thankfully after some grueling years, no just a few minutes (but really, it feels like years), I got the response that I needed. Oh thank goodness. Finally.

 He said that we really can’t do anything about it. Like I said, you really can’t do anything. He also said that it was also his fault that he will be the one to explain the explanation to those who needed the explanation. Oh thank goodness. I really can’t explain the relief I’ve felt with those words. Still, I profusely apologized ‘cause it’s my mistake too. Thank goodness he’s kind and admitted that it was both our fault and that we just need to remind ourselves the next time.

Oh, oh oh. I’m so freaking relieved. I know that I’m still at fault with the situation but thank God it didn’t get bigger. I keep thinking about the worst-case scenarios. I keep thinking that I’ll be losing my job and all that. All the negative thoughts are swimming in my mind and I know that I won’t be able to sleep well if I didn’t get to the bottom of this situation. But thank God that I did. It’s good that he’s kind and understanding and was willing to admit that it’s also his fault.

It also reminds me that I need to be more mindful in my job. It’s hard being a nurse. We’re not just dealing with things but with the life of a person. We need to be more careful and attentive about the things that we are doing. We can’t be too comfortable with daily actions but always be aware of all the things that’s happening around you. Never assume anything. When in doubt, ask. Don’t just do something because you assumed something. Decide wisely.

Thank God for small miracles.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Greener Pastures

"Do you have any plans going abroad?"

"When will you go abroad?"

"Why aren't you applying for yet for jobs abroad?"

I've been hearing that a lot lately. Well, yes, I have plans going abroad! Lot's of plans. Others may say that I have a big chance of getting out the country because I already have a good working experience here. But for me, it wouldn't be that easy.

External factors might be really easy with all those papers, exams and interviews. The real problem lies within me. I'm freaking terrified of failing. Failing the exams and the interviews. I'm not really that smart when it comes to Nursing. The theoretical part of nursing, that's my weakness. I feel like everything I've learned in college is not in my brain anymore, just bits and pieces of what's necessary for my work. I feel like my stocked knowledge about nursing is slowly slipping away. I'm really not book smart but I think I know enough to get me through my work. I'm just not really as good as I needed to be.

I think this all started when I failed the nursing board the first time. It was a depressing time for me and I think part of my brain had decided to forget everything that's nursing. And even though I've passed it the third time, I think I haven't been a able to store everything I've reviewed. I think I just learned enough to pass the exam.

Some people may think that I'm too hard on myself, but that's just how I am. I'm so freaking hard on myself and I don't know how I can get over it. On the outside, I may act cool and collected, but I'm really not. There a re a lot of things that's going on my mind every time. My mind doesn't just stop. I always overthink things. That's just the way I am. I don't know what to do.

So going back... The failing, the rejection. I don't know if I can handle it. I think, I'm a lot stronger now compared to the time that I've failed the exam, but the fear is still there. I think I'm just really afraid that I can't pass the exams. That's what I'm I'm afraid most. I'm afraid that I'll disappoint my family again, and most importantly, I'm afraid to disappoint myself. Like I said, i'm so hard on myself so that's gonna be a big hurdle if that happened.

On the brighter note, I feel like I need to do something. I'm twenty-eight now and I think I need to start doing things instead of just thinking of doing it. I think that if I fail, that's just how life works and I need try again. I need to think positively from now on. The clock is ticking and I'm not getting any younger. I need to do things. But i'm still fucking terrified. But I'm still gonna do things.

...and I'm gonna need all the help that I can get. In any forms.


*This post is raw. Just what's on my mind. Never mind the grammars and that. I was just venting out.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Happy Hearts Day!

It's Valentine's Day!

...and I'm updating my blog.

...and it has nothing to do with it.

What a lovely day. *pun intended* I'm on graveyard duty today so I have the whole day to do anything as I please. As always, I'm doing my laundry today and will be cleaning the apartment afterwards. While in between these chores, I'm watching Beauty and the Beast. I haven't really watched the whole film, so I'm doing it now since the new movie will come out in a month. I'm also catching up on my social media accounts, which I'm doing everyday so nothing new with that. But I hope that I can upload my photos from Baguio and some of my recents activities these past few weeks. I hope I'll have a good internet connection later.

I'll update more later. I just want to post something.

Happy Hearts day everyone.

Monday, December 05, 2016

Quick Post

I swear, this time, I'm gonna follow up this entry.

Just a quick post.

I will be resurrecting my blog. I may start with some updates and all that. I'm gonna talk about what had happened in my life in the last few years. I'm gonna try to do it as short as possible so I can get on with reviving this blog. I'm not gonna overhaul my blog totally but I just wanna make sure that I'll be updating this regularly. I got inspired by my friend who keeps on updating her blog. I wanna practice on my English too since I would be taking an exam in the near future, hopefully.

This time, I swear, I wanna update my blog again like I used to do way back in college. I should update at least once a week. I need to make time to post a new entry despite my (somewhat) busy schedule at work and my other hobbies, which I should be doing too.

No more procrastination. No more "I'll do it later."

I need to do things right now 'cause I'm not getting any younger. I need to do things and not just thinking of doing it. I need to start on somewhere so why not here. I wanna document all the things that I am doing so I can see if I am making any progress towards my goals. This may help me remind myself to keep on pushing on, to keep on doing things, to keep on reaching my dreams.

I know that I can achieve it. I just had to start somewhere.

I know that I've been down a few times over the past few years and I had let myself down. But in the end, I know that I can get back up again with the help of my family and friends. I know that I can do it. And if you're a friend of mine, please remind of the things that I've been spouting here whenever you feel like I'm deviating from my plans. Knock sense into me, please. You have my permission. :D

I think that would be all for now. I'll just leave you with a few lyrics of a song that would hopefully inspire you to get back up again whenever the world knocked you over.


Hey!
I'm not giving up today
There's nothing getting in my way
And if you knock knock me over
I will get back up again
If something goes a little wrong
Well you can go ahead and bring it on
Cause if you knock knock me over,
I will get back up again
Oh oh oh, get back up again

Own it

Nobody’s perfect.  I may not be the most beautiful,  the sexiest, or the girl with the perfect body  but I don’t pretend  to be ...